They say that everyone wears a mask or puts up barriers, protection from embarrassment. We never laugh the same in front of strangers as we do in front of friends. We try not to cry in front of anyone except our closest friends or family. We usually play it safe and reserved until we know what others will say about our actions or our feelings.
For years I have lived my life thinking I was different then I am. People generally like me, they trust me they confide in me. In school I was often one of the favorites, one year in high school we actually had a cake for my birthday during class. I can't remember this happening on anybody else's birthday. I usually have a better relationship with my bosses then the other employees. The list goes on, parents of friends, friends and neighbors. I'm not bragging. just stating the facts. But despite all this evidence I have seen myself differently. I thought people were wrong about me. I don't know, I just didn't like me as much as other people seemed to. I've seen myself as lazy and I've been afraid that people would find out how wrong they were about me.
Now we come to recent events. The other day my wife was telling a humorous story about me to a friend of mine. The story so caught my friend by surprise that for just a moment he let down his guard and I could see the real him, I liked what I saw. Now for just the briefest instance I could see what he saw in me, I was flattered, he saw through to the truth. And then it hit me for nearly fifty years I've been wearing my mask backwards. How could I be right about me and everyone else be wrong? I haven't been hiding myself from others I've been hiding myself from me. Well if you think I was nice before look out because now I know I'm nice. I'm going to try and use the fact that people trust me to be more helpful and generally to try and be a better friend and just a better person.
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