It is Spring, Palm Sunday

Sundays when I was young were a day unlike the rest of the week. Our day would begin with my dad playing gospel and hymns records, Jim Neighbors, Tennessee Ernie Ford, Eddie Arnold and Jim Reeves to name a few. All played loudly & accompanied by my dad singing along. Dad had a nice voice, I don't think he could of been a successful recording artist but it was nice. The smell of eggs frying or pancakes on the griddle would greet our noses. And we were up & ready for breakfast. There was a bustle to the household as we all took turns in the bathroom getting ready for church. If you were ready early you could read the "funnys" as we called them, comics to everybody else. Or look through the adds at things you were never going to buy. And then it was off to Church. In my memories it's perpetually Spring, I am somewhere between 10 and 14 years old and hoping to get to talk with one of the girls I went to grade school with. Dad was a Council member so he was an usher and he stayed & counted the offering. This meant we would be one of the last families to leave church. It was very difficult for boys in spring to stay neat and tidy while we waited to go home. Home from church kick off the dress shoes & clothes and into relaxation mode. Dinner would be ready soon. A roast or perhaps fried chicken, mashed  potatoes and gravy. You just couldn't beat Moms cooking. 

Needless to say I would love to do this all again. As I write this the memories are awesome. I am happy but so full of heartache, I miss these people, this time and the Love I didn't even see was there in everything that was done. It's as if we lived in a bubble or cloud of love, I can still remember it, warm, peaceful and calm.
Thanks Mom & Dad.

The Internet & Alcohol.

The internet is full of people pouring out there hopes & fears. We use this medium to say what we can't say. There are many reasons we find it difficult to open up to each other. If life was like a movie I could pour out my heart felt feelings to everyone about everything, there would be a pause and the movie would fade to black. But life is not a movie. Unlike the movie, there is no fade to black. Instead there is tomorrow and tomorrow can be awkward when the truth of how you feel is out there. You just can't undo it. And that is why we use the internet. I can ignore what you think you read on the internet. There is wiggle room. The internet is like alcohol, it can give you a false sense of courage. I can say what I want to say and blame it on the alcohol/internet. Or your interpretation of what I said. 

To be clear I don't drink and then write, I don't have to, I have the internet. To be even more clear I haven't had a drink in almost 20 years. My reasons are my own. I don't want to get preachy. I started out to write about how sad I feel, missing my parents, the Sundays we use to have and our little world. Somehow I got sidetracked.